Wow, Duke Harner is turning 38 years old!!
OK, I myself just had a 38th Birthday.
Really now, an invite for nice night out for dinner or just a sincere card would have been great.
Maybe a Hickory Farms gift package, a new CD or hooking me up on a date with a mystery, single gal ~
Hell, a phone call from my friend Duke would have been nice as well.
But no! HELL NO!
I get emailed this piece of crap ~
Duke's depraved view of life comes forward in this sick and sorted graphic.
WARNING: The continuing dialog of this page may not suit the personal standards and taste of many people ~
Some may find this repulsive, disgusting, heinous and vile.
Trust me! I may have just plain gone too far....
However, others will find this tomfoolery, a jestfully-pungent trip to "Butt-O-Rama-ville". Word.
~ I Wish To Leave This Site A.S.A.P, Adios Amigos ~
~ I Want to go back to where I was before! PRONTO!! ~
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(Duke Writes ~)
Hey Nate,
Your buds couldn't let you celebrate your 38th B-day bi yourself...he he!
See Ya!
Duke
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(Nate's response ~)
Nice, Duke.
So is this your twisted, perverted view of how you wished I was? Or how you are?
I am guessing that http://www.gaycelebrities.com/ is book-marked on your computer.
As an added bonus....
There I was in the men's room at work, taking a whiz today ~
And who should walk in, Chris.
He says to me "Nice birthday picture, Nate"
With a smile to boot!!
No doubt one of several "undisclosed-recipients"
I mentioned to him that you were pretty messed-up and that you constantly battle your true identity.
Therapy has not helped you at all, in fact it makes you more frustrated and hostile.
And you often project your "dream world" on to other people.
Kind of like "I have a 'friend' named Jerry and he has a scorching case of herpes, can you help my 'friend' Jerry?"
Isn't the Internet just great??
Nate
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(Duke's response ~)
All I can say to your e-mail response is...yes...yes...yes!
See ya and Happy New Year!
Duke
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(Nate comments forward ~)
WOW, Isn't that heavy?
I have to tell you a story about myself and Duke.
Duke and myself were both working at my family's automotive wrecking yard, Sideline Auto Wrecking.
I am guessing that this story happened in about 1986.
I had found a picture from a Hustler-type magazine in a wrecked vehicle.
Basically, it was the photo of a woman's "private" area. A nice one too!
So, I thought that I would surprise Duke by putting it over the sun visor of his red, 1981 Ford F250 truck.
I figured that it would be sunny one day (in Gray's Harbor??) and that he would discover this image.
Ha, Ha, Ha....what a funny prank! This was done on a typical cloudy day.
However, Duke's mother Louise needed to use the truck, when she lowered the sun visor she discovered the photograph.
She merely remarked that Duke probably just needed a little excitement now and then, typical of a young man.
And that this picture was his "friend".
A lovely, heart-warming story for sure.
Now, no 38th Birthday celebration of Duke's could ever be complete without a trip to the Castle Megastore???
How about a looksie at the Anal Toys section?
Duke has mentioned several times that he just cannot keep a good set of anal beads.
Just the other day Duke said "That last set of Seven Large Acrylite Beads were my favorites, but I lost three of them last time..."
No problemo dude, since it is your birthday, I got a new set for you.
You have said that you like the bigger ones, but I think that the smaller ones will suit you much better.
And really, you can stuff more of the smaller ones in and not lose them.
I read this in the "Friends of the Anally Obsessed Help Guide"
I know, I know, I know...Duke is going to say something like "Oh, just what I needed, another butt-plug!"
However, Duke has also casually mentioned that one can't have too many butt-plugs...
Duke was commenting one day that "I wear out butt-plugs like Evan Archie wears out guitars"
I hope that you stay away from wooden butt plugs, for your own sake and health.
I am sure that you will treasure and bury this treasure for many a year to come.
No doubt you will be screaming out loud to your new Butt-Buddy ~
"I am your BITCH, Mr. Butt-Plug!!
I am your little BITCH!!
A SLUTTY LITTLE BITCH!!
That's right come here to Mommy!!"
And just to let you know that I truly care, I have read that these "toys" are dishwasher safe!!
An added bonus for sure.
Much better than that gerbil thing that you had been boasting about.
I know that I did not include any lube with your gift since you are a member of the "Lube of the Month" club.
I am sure that your birthday gifts will continue to allow you to feel comfortable with your anal desires and needs.
Duke, you do not have to be frustrated my friend.
We do realize that you are "different".
And that you invade and penetrate your body in ways that we do not understand.
Just remember this Duke, you have friends that love and support you, we care for you and we do not judge you.
And yes I really did buy these gifts for you, my friend Duke, because myself and so many others do care about you.
The package will no doubt be left at the "back door".
Best wishes,
Nate
NOTE:
PLEASE DO NOT SEND THIS LINK TO ANYONE THAT DUKE WORKS WITH!!!
THEY HAVE A ZERO TOLERENCE FOR ANYTHING THAT IS SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE.
THIS PAGE WOULD NO DOUBT LEAD TO DUKE'S DISMISSAL FROM HIS JOB.
IT WILL BE REMOVED AFTER THE FESTIVE EVENT HAS PASSED.
THANK YOU, NATE
Last Update:
OK, so I drop off the package to Duke's house and there he is.
He asks if this "present" is the "gift" (he had seen this page at this time).
Yes, yes it is I reply.
So he gives the unmarked package to Brenda for Valentine's Day, what a sweet-heart!!
Days later I email Duke to find who was the "curious" one.
There was no reply.
Hmmn..........