Behold! Metal Dude. He was born in the sun and the moon of the Scorpion,
"Year of the Horse" (of course). During the human bloodbath called the Korean War, in a Mash Unit
known as the Italian 68th Red Cross Field Hospital located near Seoul. At 10:45 A.M., Enng Chun Han
spawned from her loins a pool of placenta, water and blood that revealed a mass of innocent
flesh that would become Metal Dude.
Lawerence William Sweeney Jr.(aka The Prince of Pleasure) would be his his given name. Combined, these names from
Ireland meant: "crowned helmet protector of the little hero". In modern times, BIG PIG !!
From his Korean side; His desendents witnessed the birth of Christ, the Jewish Wars and
the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli.
The stage was set for the earth below, alas. The Mongolian Viking arriveth to pillage your
minds, your daughters and mothers too... with the delicate, delicious, subtle
steel that is the avalanche of his love. In word and deed, by sport and sound, through
site and fabrication - METAL DUDE .........
The word from the band is that Metal Dude is one scary dude, folks. Check out
The Kinky Adventures of Baby Billy. This link is not for sexually inhibited.
Enjoys positive ions (or is that negative ions?)
from the air of the sea, not sure. Especially from the lonely, cool shores of Sitka.
When Metal Dude can't "get some" (which isn't very often), he endorses and uses
The Amigo 2000
Some of you wrestling fans out there are thinking "That Metal Dude sure looks familiar"
Well, you might just remember him as "Thunder Dog Sweeney" of the WWF. Who can forget
that war of wars, the "Battle of Seattle" when Thunder Dog and the Grinder scraped it out
for the belt in an Oregon Cage match. Sadly, after Thunder Dog's victory he was attacked
in the locker room by three of those midget wrestlers and received a career ending kneecap
injury.
For some information about Metal Dude's teen years, read this short story. It seems the young
Metal Dude was quite smitten with a certain young lady and he asked a good friend about
how to attract her. His friend told him to go to the local market and purchase a large
Idaho grown potato. Keep it with you and get her to meet you sometime - Just before you see
her, secretly place the potato in your underwear. Metal Dude did as his friend had instructed.
However, soon after he met with this young lady, she ran away screaming. So, Metal Dude
asked his friend about the bogus advice. His friend responded "That trick always works!!
Every time!! By the way, did you put the potato in front or the back of your shorts?"
Metal Dude likes jokes and kooky stories - Here is one his favorites.
Joe Anderson was a postal carrier with 30 years of service; Friday was to be his last day
before retiring. On that day he did his route as normal, first stop was the Jones' house and
Mrs. Jones gave him a basket full of cookies and brownies as a gift. His next stop was the Olson
house; Jack Olson gave Joe a nice bottle of scotch. The next house was the Smith's and Mary
Smith greeted Joe at the door in her bathrobe and invited him in. Mary took off the robe to
reveal a shear black teddy, she took his hand and led up the stairs where she made wild,
passionate love to Joe - she was an absolute animal! Afterwards they went down to the
kitchen, where Mary made him a wonderful breakfast with eggs, pancakes, bacon, toast and
orange juice. After the meal was finished, Mary reached into her purse and handed Joe a
one-dollar bill. He was a bit confused, then he said to her "The breakfast was great, the
sex was even better, thank you - but what is the dollar for?" Well, Mary said "Last night
over dinner my husband and I were talking about what to get you for a retirement gift and he
said 'Screw him, give him a dollar!!!'" Then she added "But the breakfast was my idea".
Question:What happens to farts when they die?
Answer: Farts never die!!! How dare you!!!! Listen, there is a very simple scientific law called
The Law of Conservation of Farts. It basically states that farts can not be created nor
destroyed, they can merely be converted from one form to another. If you enjoy humor/stories
about flatulence and you are a teenager (or want to pretend like you are one, like I did for
about 30 minutes) Check it out.
farts.com
Now, you just might like to check out one of Larry's favorite bands
Sleater-Kinney
Yes, He can lay out some gnarly guitar licks, but what else? Few know and REALLY,
No one should!! EVER!!
LORE OF THE DUDES
We don't know if all bands have a lore, but we do!!
... Those were the days, when thunder and rain hammered from the sky. But the music had a very massive,
heavy, surreal groove -- Yeah, those were the days, man. Sure the boys rocked and jammed the melodies
and rhythms that they had mysteriously conjured up. And they spoke amongst their own bad selves,
"Yo DUDES ... these tunes are so happening, we should share them with the whole Earth planet !!"
Bud Dude added "Yeah, the He-folk and the She-folk will truly dig it man." J. Dude let out a primal
scream, much like a wolf howling at the moon .. 'twas heard for miles around. Just then Metal Dude
laid out a gnarly guitar lick, as if to summon a duel with Beelzebub himself - Righteous vs.
Evil. Nate Dude raised a cylinder-shaped beverage container in the air and shouted out "To the Dudes!"
And the DUDES did set out to take these humorous songs to all of the good people. And they did
pleasure the ears of many. The Gods smiled upon the lads, as if to say, "You boys are one of us now."
Yes, it was quite cool and extremely far out .... just because for Earth below.
